[My friend Jan dropping clues about life in London. Excerpt taken from her letter to friends.]
Clothes/Style: If you can't clash a. colors b. patterns c. decades, resort to d. all shades of black. And you can't be jealous when the dude next to you has a nicer purse than you do. (This is very true. I went grocery shopping yesterday at Marks & Spencer and I swear to holy mother of god, the guy behind me in line was carrying the latest Fendi purse. -FF)
Weather: No snow, just damp, chilly and still confused spits of rain to frizz everyone's hair, about mid 40's usually. I have seen the sun 2 times for about 5 minutes time each since I've been here- just enough to prove it can reach England.
Public Transport: So orderly and efficient that it's hard to believe it transports so many people every second of the day from 6am-12am. It's always deathly quiet, in the actual cars and filing from one section of the underground to the other. The network of the tubes are amazing and you can walk miles and miles underground to get to different platforms. Getting on the tube in rush hour (especially the central line) is a mosh pit to see who can fit on the tube first, how many coats, limbs and scarves can get stuck in the doors and how close you can get your butt to the total stranger's groin next to you. It's always nice to count black heads on people's noses, the number of hairs coming out of the moles on their face, if they shave their fingers, if the girl across from you is right handed or left handed by the way she draws her eyeliner, what's in that woman's purse over there... etc.
Bars/Pubs/Clubs: Any one with more of a booty than Twiggy's is guaranteed an increasing number of ass-grabs the more the night progresses. Clever comments of approval as one walks like "Yeah" are common, with a British accent for added charm. Heels are not for walking, but for stabbing.
Language: Keen observation from Swiss Mauro that London is the worst place to learn English because no one here speaks English. There's some good movies on YouTube and other sites to watch about Cockney slang and London gang slang that are really interesting and completely don't make sense.
Dorm life:American kids can't find the flushing handle on the toilet, speak quietly, change toilet paper rolls, turn off stove burners, boil water, cook scrambled eggs, see crumbs, tell time or wash dishes. I'm almost impressed that some of these kids made it out of their front yards. (Shout out to Leslie and Joe Ray) I had a mandatory check-up meeting with the really cool Arcadia (my university) advisor from home, but has lived here for the past 5 years. I suggested instead of extensive orientation about how not to be retarded (i.e."don't take unmarked minicabs and don't get raped- you too gentlemen"), they should instead look into a seminar about "yo' momma don't live here".
FF: I suggest they should make it a lifelong habit of look in the mirror every morning and ask themselves this question: How can I be less stupid today?
Don't talk about it, be about it. x.
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